The world of sports flipped upside down today after the Montreal Canadiens announced the most confounding and entertaining trade in recent memory: the acquisition of Ivan Demidov, one of the top young talents in Russian hockey, while simultaneously signing “San Francisco 49ers fan-favorite star running back” Nick Suzuki to a five-year, $116.5 million deal.
Yes — you read that correctly. Nick Suzuki, captain of the Canadiens, top-line center, and pride of Quebec… has apparently also been moonlighting as an elite NFL running back.
And now, the Habs have reacquired him.
The Trade That Broke Reality
In what insiders are calling “part trade, part cosmic crossover,” the Canadiens finalized a deal late last night to land Ivan Demidov, the electrifying Russian winger recently drafted by the Chicago Blackhawks but rumored to be “exploring all options.” The Canadiens front office, led by GM Kent Hughes, managed to pull off the coup by offering a bizarre but oddly lucrative swap: the rights to their captain, Nick Suzuki — or at least, one version of him.
According to conflicting reports, this “Nick Suzuki” had become a cult figure among 49ers fans during the 2024 NFL season after a TikTok trend dubbed him “RB1 Energy.” What started as a meme — featuring Suzuki edited into 49ers highlights — spiraled into fan-made jerseys, fantasy football picks, and even a Change.org petition to “get Suzuki into Madden.”
The 49ers themselves never officially acknowledged Suzuki’s presence on their depth chart, but that didn’t stop fans from treating him like a crucial piece of the backfield behind Christian McCaffrey.
A Contract Signed in Two Sports and One Dimension
The Canadiens’ press release, delivered at 3:14 AM Montreal time, stated that they had re-signed Nick Suzuki “from his cross-sport NFL sabbatical,” locking him into a five-year, $116.5 million deal — the largest hybrid contract in hockey-football history. A small footnote at the bottom clarified that “terms of the contract will be honored in both USD and CAD depending on arena or stadium jurisdiction.”
Suzuki, looking slightly bewildered but smiling, appeared at the morning press conference in shoulder pads over his Habs sweater.
“It’s good to be home,” he said. “Whether I’m cutting across the blue line or cutting outside the tackle, I just want to win.”
Ivan Demidov: The Other Half of the Madness
Lost in the madness is the fact that Ivan Demidov — a generational Russian talent — is now a Montreal Canadien. In any other universe, that would have been the headline. Described as a “McDavid-level” talent with the offensive instincts of a seasoned pro and hands soft enough to sculpt ice, Demidov is expected to be the franchise’s most dynamic winger since Guy Lafleur.
“Demidov is the future,” GM Kent Hughes said. “But let’s be clear — we weren’t letting Suzuki slip away. Not to the NFL. Not to a TikTok edit. Not today.”
In truth, the Canadiens had no plans to part with Suzuki. The deal with Chicago for Demidov was already in motion, but the Habs wanted to ensure Suzuki stayed as captain — both in the locker room and in the hearts of his imaginary football fans. The solution? Sign him back from a hypothetical 49ers roster where he never officially played but was deeply beloved.
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